Learning to Listen: How I Improved My Relationships

I used to think being enthusiastic and caring was enough for good relationships. As an ENFP, I'm naturally warm and interested in people, but I kept having the same problem: friends would say I wasn't really hearing them. It hit me during a conversation with my best friend. She was telling me about her work stress, and I immediately jumped in with solutions and my own similar experiences. She stopped mid-sentence and said, "Can you just listen for once?" That stung, but it was the wake-up call I needed. I realized that my enthusiasm to help was actually preventing me from truly connecting. I was so focused on what I wanted to say next that I missed what people were actually telling me. I started practicing what I call "curious silence." Instead of preparing my response, I'd ask follow-up questions: "How did that make you feel?" or "What was the hardest part about that?" It felt awkward at first – silence doesn't come naturally to me. The change in my relationships was immediate. People started opening up more, sharing deeper concerns. My friend later told me she felt truly heard for the first time in our friendship. For fellow ENFPs: our enthusiasm is a gift, but sometimes the best way to show we care is to create space for others to be heard. Active listening doesn't mean suppressing our nature – it means channeling our genuine interest in people more effectively.